Hot Springs and Ryokan
May. 4th, 2019 12:16 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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exhibitionistsbox
Guess what, y'all. It's time for a field trip. We're heading to a Hot Springs and an Inn for the weekend, and everyone is invited. This place is huge, and has multiple springs both indoor and out. There's separate bathing, mixed, and even a spot for foreigners and prudes who like to keep their swimsuits on. Table tennis? Got it. Room service? You bet. Massages? Possibly. Ghosts? Maybe.
1. Hot springs: after you rinse off come take a relaxing bath. There are multiple options as to what kind of bathing environment you can have, so please choose wisely. Also, please read the signs. None of the springs will kill you, but if you choose the wrong one you might end up with some... adverse effects. Cursed springs might just be a Thing.
2. The Inn: you'll be here for a few nights so find your rooming buddy and get friendly. Whether bonding over food, games, or even just exploring the place there's certainly something you can find to occupy yourself. Just don't be too curious after curfew. The staff are pretty insistent, but they aren't cops so responsibility for your actions are your own.
They don't know that YET
Date: 2019-05-06 08:42 pm (UTC)If she's also mulling over something that literally only she seems to remember (well, there's BB, but most people in Chaldea seem more than happy to not give BB the benefit of the doubt so far), well. That's fine. That's just multitasking, which is also something she's good at. In all honesty, it isn't exactly a moping thing, but it is a more confused thoughtful thing.
But she doesn't startle at the sound of Mash's voice, just glances over her shoulder with a rueful little smile. ]
Hey, Mash. Couldn't sleep?
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Date: 2019-05-07 03:45 am (UTC)[She suspects she is, and so even the often somewhat meek Mash is a bit more meek than usual as she closes the distance between them. She stops far enough away to not be looming over Ritsuka, as she's not about to sit down without an invitation. Maybe Ritsuka wants to be left alone. Mash hopes she'll be honest about it if she does.]
Would you rather be alone?
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Date: 2019-05-07 06:24 am (UTC)[ She pats the spot beside her, smiling. ]
I'm just thinking a bit. I think this is the first real vacation I've had since everything started... What do you think so far? Do hot springs measure up to your expectations?
[ She doesn't know if this is something Mash would have read about, but knowing the Doctor, she has to believe he brought them up at some point.
...thinking about him is awkward. Ritsuka shakes her head briefly to clear it. ]
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Date: 2019-05-08 08:26 pm (UTC)It's so peaceful here . . . um, mostly.
[Peaceful is largely the right word for the inn, any ghostly encounters aside, but perhaps not for all of the people. Mash casts a quick, meaningful glance behind them, in the direction of their sleeping companions.]
I was embarrassed at first, but I think I'm used to it by now. And it's nice to feel like we really don't have anything else we need to be doing, for once. Thank you for inviting me, Senpai.
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Date: 2019-05-09 01:46 am (UTC)[ She leans enough that their shoulders bump together, then leaves them resting like that. For the moment, she's pushed aside the awkwardness that comes with thoughts of Doctor Roman, just smiling as she shakes her head. ]
But if I'm going to be hanging out with them at all, it felt important for you to meet them, too. And not just that. You deserve a vacation just as much as anyone.
[ Now that things are starting to heat up again, and Ritsuka's being called back into action, there's less time for her ambitions of a world trip with Mash. And even if she can't go Rayshift anymore... well, in some ways, that's the more stressful position, isn't it? ]
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Date: 2019-05-09 03:24 am (UTC)[Because it's a weird thing to be glad about when the current context is that neither of them are in bed in the middle of the night, whoops.
Mash leans back, though, letting the contact soothe and warm her. It's harder to be stressed under the moon like this, with Ritsuka, even if she can't entirely quiet her mind. She doubts Ritsuka can, either.]
Are you having a good time?
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Date: 2019-05-10 10:59 pm (UTC)[ Not that she actually particularly thinks of herself as wicked. Even at her worst, she knows that she's at least falling on the better side of things. Still, she can't quite resist making the joke, even if she knows Mash will scold her for it. ]
I am, though. It's nice to get away for a little. Even if it's only a weekend.
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Date: 2019-05-13 03:27 am (UTC)She softens immediately, though, at the rest. A good time is hopefully enough like rest to do Ritsuka some good.]
I'm glad to hear it. I am, too. Maybe we can do things like this more often. . . . I feel a little selfish hoping for it when I know how serious things are, but . . . I've been thinking about it, and I tell myself that moments like this are what we're all fighting for.
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Date: 2019-05-13 04:22 am (UTC)It's not selfish. It's just being human.
[ Now Ritsuka leans back a little, onto her hands, looking upwards to the dark starry sky overhead. ]
Wanting to be able to take a break, even when things are serious, wanting to have a moment or two where things aren't so grim... you're right. That's what we're in all this for. But it's no good if we don't get to be part of that, right? Always working, always observing, never getting involved... that's not really a "human life" at all, is it?
I GUESS FGO PT 1 SPOILERS FOR ANYONE WHO CARES!!
Date: 2019-05-13 11:24 pm (UTC)[A little agreeing sound, while Mash thinks that over more. Now she's the one having unbidden thoughts of the Doctor. Had Ritsuka meant to invoke his memory with that? Or is that just the way things are, now? It isn't the first time his ghost has crept up in Mash's thoughts when she didn't expect it to. At times, the knowledge of who he truly was and everything he did, explained by the others after Mash's miraculous return . . . it feels like a curse.
She had wanted, deep down, to have gone on believing he was happy.
The placeholder expression on her face slowly crumples into a frown at the thought. It's a much sadder sight than the stars, and Mash hopes Ritsuka keeps looking up at those instead.]
You're right. It isn't just that these are the things I always wanted for myself. They're the things I want for everyone else too.
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Date: 2019-05-15 03:15 am (UTC)[ Ritsuka doesn't look at Mash directly, but she doesn't need to. She can see the shift in Mash's posture, and just a little bit of how that expression changes. Ah. Maybe she'd been more obvious about her own thoughts than she'd hoped.
It's strange. After nearly six months, Roman's name has barely come up between them, but his presence lingers. There's no way either of them could forget.
Still without looking directly at Mash, she lets her hand slide over, covering Mash's with a small squeeze. ]
Yeah. Everyone deserves it.
[ Even the people she doesn't get along with. Even the people who never managed that in their lives. ]
I'm glad if we've helped with that in any way.
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Date: 2019-05-15 06:24 pm (UTC)The longer she sits in silence, though, the harder it is to think she has anything worth saying at all, on that subject or any other. What finally comes out comes from deep within her. She hadn't expected to say it now. But she had wanted to, someday, say it at all, and apparently now is the time.]
. . . I'm sorry . . . that I wasn't there at the end.
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Date: 2019-05-17 03:15 am (UTC)[ There's a long pause before Ritsuka squeezes back, harder this time, swallowing hard. For the most part, she thinks she's put behind everything that happened at the Temple behind her -- it's been months! There's still plenty that needs to be done, with two remaining Pillars out there. Who knows where they're hiding? It had been awful at the time, certainly, but she'd made it through.
She's alive. They both are. That's what matters, right? ]
It's fine.
[ It's fine. ]
You came back. That's the part that matters. And...
[ She forces a bit of a laugh, ducking her head and turning it away. ]
I found out, your shield's even heavier than I thought. Even when you were -- [ dead, gone, lost ] -- weren't there, you protected me.
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Date: 2019-05-17 07:03 pm (UTC)[The word feels like it's being crushed out of her lungs under the weight of Ritsuka's awful little laugh. The memory of Roman had been uncomfortable. The apology Mash hadn't expected to come out with here and now had burned her throat. But this is something else entirely. Every swallow feels like a herculean effort, and her eyes sting with the sudden threat of tears. . . . Mash can't dwell too hard on the details. It's as if, in her own mind, she's holding up that shield against the onslaught of emotion this time rather than the onslaught of the Beast, because if she doesn't . . .
Then what? It's just that the image is too much for her to carry: Ritsuka lifting her shield after she fell. Is that how it had happened? Ah, she's thinking about it, it's breaking through after all—
Mash trails off into a choked sound. And maybe this isn't what Ritsuka wants, but it's the only thing she knows how to do: she pulls her hand away so she can turn in and throw both arms around her instead, in a tight, clinging hug. All of the force of this rush of emotion goes into that instead of trying to say anything more meaningful.]
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Date: 2019-05-19 03:33 am (UTC)[ Whoops. Well then. Ritsuka rocks a little with surprise at the gesture, but a moment later she puts her arms around Mash in turn, giving her a tight answering squeeze. It's not exactly a familiar gesture for her, or a comfortable one, but it is easier for her to respond to Mash's distress than to get bogged down in her own. She rubs Mash's back in lopsided circles, leaning their heads together. ]
It's okay. Look. We're both all right. --Like I said, even when you weren't there, you kept me safe. Thank you.
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Date: 2019-05-20 04:12 am (UTC)[It's all wrong.
The hug feels good. It's not the most natural gesture for Mash either, and the angle isn't the best, and it still feels awfully forward and nerve-wracking to be this touchy with Ritsuka; even chastely, that part of their relationship is still very new. But it's not right. Here she is tearing up, with Ritsuka comforting her, when the reason she's tearing up in the first place is—it's all backwards—
Through her half-closed throat, Mash swallows and forces out:]
What I want . . . I want to protect you from all of this, too! I know I can't, but I can't stop wanting to! All of these feelings . . .
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Date: 2019-05-20 09:07 pm (UTC)[ She doesn't know quite what to say, after that. So in lieu of that, she just leans a bit harder into the embrace, letting their heads rest together.
Protect her from these feelings, huh... of course it's impossible. Pain and struggle are as much a part of the human experience as pleasure and joy, but it's also not like she can't understand that impulse. She's felt it too; there are so many people she wants to protect from feeling helpless. One of them is in her arms right now. ]
I know. I'm sorry. It's not something you should have to worry about. Especially not now.
We can't change what happened, but... we'll do better in the future. Okay? We'll figure things out.
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Date: 2019-05-21 03:43 am (UTC)[She's caught up a little earlier in the conversation, leaning back with a sigh—not far, not willing to pull away, but enough to see Ritsuka. At least someone. With her bangs in her eyes and her face only inches away, it's not much, but it feels important to make the effort right now. Her arms, though, stay firmly linked around Ritsuka's body.]
Don't say I shouldn't have to worry about it. Of course I worry about it . . . because I love you. I can't even imagine not worrying about you. That's not the sort of person I think I want to be. I'm worried . . . that you're the one protecting me from your emotions.
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Date: 2019-05-23 03:32 am (UTC)[ She says it gently, more calm than anything else. Her arms tighten around Mash, and after a couple of seconds, she leans in again to press their foreheads together. ]
I'm doing okay. I promise. Things got pretty rough for a while there, but I pulled through. And you were there for me where it really mattered.
[ She'd stayed by Ritsuka even when Goetia had made his case, offering her a place by his side. Her shield had protected Ritsuka first from the blast of his anger, and when she'd been forced to stand alone. And when the ground had literally crumbled away from under her feet, and she'd known, absolutely known, that she was done for -- there'd been Mash's hand, reaching out to her.
In all the ways that mattered, Mash has always been there for her. ]
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Date: 2019-05-24 04:15 am (UTC)[But neither does Mash say it with too much self deprecation. It's a fact she's coming to realize, and only feels strained about when it really matters—when she can feel herself falling to pieces in battle, which happens less and less these days, but doesn't happen never. She'll probably never hit never. That's how she knows. She knows because she still has moments every single day where she's briefly crushed under the weight of everything that's come before and everything yet to come. She thinks of the Doctor, and she hates that she can't think of him anymore without sadness and regret, when she knows he wouldn't want that, and it feels selfish besides. All of this . . .
Still, with her head pressed to Ritsuka's and her eyes fluttering closed, she feels the certainty within herself that she's strong enough to make it through.
Ritsuka gave her that.]
I'll do my best.
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Date: 2019-05-25 02:54 am (UTC)[ She squeezes Mash again as she says that, her hands pressing firmly to her back. It's a gentle gesture, meant again to be reassuring.
And honestly, it's comforting for her, as well, to make this gesture. ]
No matter what... we'll get through things together.
[ That's such a cheesy line. Out of Mash's sight, Ritsuka makes a brief face at herself. How ridiculous, saying things like that -- like she's an actual hero out of a story -- but at the same time... it's not wrong, is it? As long as Mash is by her side, she's not afraid of anything that fate might throw her way (ha ha). ]
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Date: 2019-05-25 03:51 am (UTC)I know. As long as you're with me, I really believe that. Senpai . . . just let me help however I can. Even if it's just listening to your thoughts. I feel like I'm the one always making you listen to mine.
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Date: 2019-05-26 08:13 pm (UTC)[ That's just another way to say I like you, which is true, and will always be true, even if Ritsuka isn't as smooth as she sometimes likes to pretend. She tilts her head enough just enough to bump their noses together, then pulls back to adjust, leaning more comfortably up against Mash's side. ]
That's the thing... listening to what you think, and how you feel about things, that helps me figure those things out for me, too. I'm pretty big on doing things on instinct, but I know it's not always going to work for me.
So you help give me that, even if you think it's just you unloading on me. Got it?
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Date: 2019-05-28 01:37 am (UTC)[Like Ritsuka ever unloads on anyone. But that's the point, isn't it? Mash gets so easily caught up these days in unloading the fact that Ritsuka doesn't unload on her, and it's a mess. But if even that can help some . . . that might be the way forward after all. Ritsuka just isn't the type to deal with things in the same way. It's hard to navigate, but they're learning; Mash wants to learn. Even if it takes the rest of their lives.
That's a nicely romantic thought to have as they lean together, faces close, staring out at the pleasantly cool and starry night.]
I want you to feel like you can tell me anything. But . . . I can wait.
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Date: 2019-05-29 02:35 am (UTC)[ Ritsuka knows herself: she's nowhere near the level of closed-off wariness that plagues a lot of people she knows, but she's also not the most forthcoming. Some of that is just not thinking of her experiences as worth bringing up, some of that is not being aware of her own troubles until they've percolated too dark and deep, and some of it is just... flat-out not being the best at speaking her feelings all the time.
But if Mash says she can wait, then Ritsuka trusts that. ]
I promise I'll tell you, when I can.
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