Chaldean Chaos

[battymynameis]

Ereshkigal's Erotic Error

[ Displacement of the Divine Dildo ]

Something is amiss! Goddess of the Underworld Ereshkigal has come to you for aid. She has lost something very important, and it's up to you and a search partner to find it. Will you save the day like a true hero, or get distracted and lose your way? Only time will tell...

[ Premise ]

As a gift and congratulations to Ereshkigal finally being able to reach Chaldea, Ishtar anonymously sends her sister a "gift". A crystalized lore beautifully crafted into a phallic shape. The pure magic that radiates from it makes the item a fine possession to have, though its intended use differs greatly from most crystallized lore. Upon receiving the gift Ereshkigal, too vanilla for her own good, sends it away in a flustered fit. Only after it's gone does she realize what she had done. In her embarrassed outrage she accidentally sent it to Chaldea instead of her own vault. Now the panicked goddess must retrieve it before anyone find out it's hers! To keep the damage to her reputation a minimum! After all it does have her name inscribed on the base... In a fit of desperation you (and possibly a partner) are called upon to help her find the object. Because of her shame Ereshkigal is unable to tell you what she's actually missing, but she's sure it's bound to turn up! You'll know it when you see it. Unbeknownst to her, and everyone else for that matter, something seems to be going around. Not a sickness or a bug, but something viral nonetheless. A Sumerian fever if you will. Thanks to the fertility goddess that started this mess in the first place. Is it hot in here? Do you feel a little urge to do something naughty? Has that desire for pulling on the gacha turned into something else?

[ Prompts ]

The Search Party Class Tendency Word spreads quick. It's not long before Ereshkigal has convinced most of Chaldea to help her in the search. You and your search partner are given an area to search and a short description of the item: An iridescent long, hard thing. Radiates magic and has my name on the bottom. If you find it please don't show anyone else! It is the property of a goddess so bring it straight to me, thank you! It may be dangerous and should be sealed away. An odd description, but if you're already on board that shouldn't deter you. If you want you can ask Ereshkigal for more clarity. Aside from that it's up to you and your partner to tackle a game plan on how to find this mysterious magical item! However if you're more inclined to slacking off you might see that Ishtar doesn't seem to be all too eager to help either. Maybe you should ask her about that. Does the goddess just like to see her little sister squirm at the thought of missing something, or is it something more? Evil Bone(r) One theory is that the "Long Hard Thing" got lost in training through the Chaldea Gate. Which would make sense if it were a weapon, right? Perhaps it's that. You and your partner must quest through waves of enemies, but make sure you're equipped to handle what comes your way. With demi-humans, divine arms, demonic beats, and shadow servants all susceptible to the Sumerian Fever they might ask for something other than your life as payment for your defeat. (This is a battle prompt that doesn't need to be smutty, but if players decide to take that route it's suggested both share NPCing the monsters for each other unless some other arrangement is agreed upon) Treasure Vault Unlike in previous training areas this one has no enemies to fight. All the haunted doors seem to be lifeless at this point. Most of them are closed, but the large golden vaults have themselves spread open to lure you in. Because of course — something that's valuable might be stored in a treasure vault after all! Why wouldn't you look there? But, in an unfortunate twist of events, you might find yourself trapped inside! The door catches you as you look inside, and you fall in a way that leaves you stuck and exposed for your search partner or any passersby to see you! Ah... you can feel as the door melts away your clothes... Have you now become a treasured glory hole? Seems like it. (Here is some NSFW visual references, but I was envisioning something less "petrified kink" and more "stuck in a wall" kink) Funky Fever During your search you discover the source of the strange ailment that's going around. There's a tablet with a large rosette adorned with the eight pointed star of Venus. It says to nullify the powers of the tablet one must bring forth the right elements that represent Ishtar: dragon fang, chaos claw, heart of a foreign god. Present the right items, and the tablet shatters and the curse is lifted. Present the wrong items and a seven headed snake appears to ruin those who might trespass on the property of a goddess. You Found the Long Hard Thing You finally find the crystallized lore, but... the item isn't as you expected. Or maybe it is, and your mind just went straight to the gutter. Either way you can feel the pure magic that radiates from the crystal dildo even as you just get close to it. It's truly compelling even if you might not be into that sort of thing. You've got a couple options here... do you return it? Perhaps when you give it back you decide to use it on Ereshkigal herself? Keep it? Use it... on yourself or your partner? Maybe pawn it off, or deduce everything that happened was Ishtar's fault from the beginning and give her a piece of your mind? The power is now in your hands.

table code by optimisty
art credit.

Comments

[ninanna]

Well, if you were truly with me you'd be winning too.

[offshoots]

You mean as a part of whatever plot you're designing for your sister? I'm starting to feel bad for her, you know.

[ninanna]

This is for her own good. She needs to lighten up. She's so gloomy.

[offshoots]

[He gets it. Seriously.] You can cheer her up without dicks being involved. [Goddesses are so awkward. Why can't YALL BE NORMAL.] Listen. Why don't you just take her out and show her around? That'll bring her out of her shell. She's the Goddess of the Underworld or something, right? She probably spent a lot of time under the world while you were above it, huh? There's plenty to catch her up on.

[ninanna]

If I don't do it this way she'll accuse me of something.

[offshoots]

Hah? Of what? [BEING A GOOD SISTER?]

[ninanna]

It's between sisters. You wouldn't understand.

[offshoots]

[...] I guess not. [He doesn't want to, either.] I'd still cut back on the male genitalia. I'll find it this time, but I'm not doing it again.

[ninanna]

Then today we're partners! Shall you follow me onward, then?

[offshoots]

[Partners... with another Servant, huh...] As if you would give me a choice. [He moves forward and gestures with his hands for her to lead the way.] Your unruly follower awaits your guidance, Your Grace.

[ninanna]

Wonderful, let us get started.

[She grabs his wrist, and begins pulling him along through Chaldea.]

[offshoots]

[A SUFFERING LOOK but he lets her drag him. Is she doing it just to show she's dragging Robin Hood around? He can walk. He's not going to run away, either. Tempting but he won't.] You're enjoying this. [It's not a question but more an observation.]

[ninanna]

Why wouldn't I be? The sister who stripped me bare and pierced me over, and over, and over again is finally in the distress she deserves. Who wouldn't enjoy that?

[offshoots]

[Yikes.] Aaah, so it's sibling rivalry.

[ninanna]

There is no rivalry. It's obvious who is on top.

[MORE INAPPROPRIATE INNUENDO? Possibly.]

[offshoots]

[She walked into this....] Your sister?

[ninanna]

You couldn't be more wrong! How could the ruler of the UNDERworld be on top? Simply impossible!

[offshoots]

Was that a pun? Are you making puns about your sister?

[ninanna]

[HEHEHEHEHEH]

[offshoots]

[Oh my god. BURIES FACE IN HIS FREE PALM] Don't laugh at your own jokes...

[ninanna]

A goddess can laugh at whatever she likes.

[offshoots]

[ONLY A LOSER LAUGHS AT THEIR OWN JOKES Robin probably laughs at his own jokes.] Be that as it may... your pun was lame. At least try a little harder!

[ninanna]

The jokes of a goddess are not lame!

[offshoots]

Alright then. Tell me your best joke.

[ninanna]

My best joke only works in Sumerian. You wouldn't get it.

[#hipster]