. . . You really are stronger than I am. You don't give yourself enough credit.
[But neither does Mash say it with too much self deprecation. It's a fact she's coming to realize, and only feels strained about when it really matters—when she can feel herself falling to pieces in battle, which happens less and less these days, but doesn't happen never. She'll probably never hit never. That's how she knows. She knows because she still has moments every single day where she's briefly crushed under the weight of everything that's come before and everything yet to come. She thinks of the Doctor, and she hates that she can't think of him anymore without sadness and regret, when she knows he wouldn't want that, and it feels selfish besides. All of this . . .
Still, with her head pressed to Ritsuka's and her eyes fluttering closed, she feels the certainty within herself that she's strong enough to make it through.
no subject
Date: 2019-05-24 04:15 am (UTC)[But neither does Mash say it with too much self deprecation. It's a fact she's coming to realize, and only feels strained about when it really matters—when she can feel herself falling to pieces in battle, which happens less and less these days, but doesn't happen never. She'll probably never hit never. That's how she knows. She knows because she still has moments every single day where she's briefly crushed under the weight of everything that's come before and everything yet to come. She thinks of the Doctor, and she hates that she can't think of him anymore without sadness and regret, when she knows he wouldn't want that, and it feels selfish besides. All of this . . .
Still, with her head pressed to Ritsuka's and her eyes fluttering closed, she feels the certainty within herself that she's strong enough to make it through.
Ritsuka gave her that.]
I'll do my best.